I wanted to text you
To say Hi.
For a second I forgot.
Just a second.
A moment in this new time when my heart felt whole.
It didn’t last long
Reality was as quick to return as it had fleeting left.
The sadness that lives in the pit of my soul, merely taunting.
It was the first time I’d felt the need to message you
It probably won’t be the last.
I look back through old texts
Read through the mundane things we would text each other.
The silly things that would make us laugh.
I want for you to be able to text me back
More than anything.
I send daft photos of the kids to friends
Photos I’d have sent to you
Wanting to share what they’re getting up to with someone
For me not to be the only one who sees
Wanting to share them with you.
Knowing you would laugh and find them cute, or daft or both
I want you to be here to see it.
I do not want it to be November.
It takes me to a new month
A month without you with me
A month you didn’t get to see
I am being moved further away from you
And I just want it to stop.
I cried in the car this morning
Runnin’ came on the radio
I noticed the car in front had a heart sticker with CC in the middle
It made me smile and gripped my heart in equal measure
The most unusual things feel like a punch to the stomach.
I do not want it to be November
The further away I am dragged by time, from you
The more I want
Just a text
Just a smile
Just a few words
Just to laugh
Just a few moments more with you
Time, was never on our side