29/01/2018 12:08 pm
I can’t remember the date we first kissed
Is that a date I should remember?
We were friends for so long before that moment
You were the cheeky one who would make me laugh
Nothing more at the time.
It was so, insignificant
Just a quick snog outside the venue.
I didn’t know it would lead to
Anything.
Now this date is the most important date
And I can’t remember it.
I know it was at this time of year
Just before you broke your jaw
I was supposed to be, maybe, seeing you
You’d chipped your tooth, you thought, and didn’t feel too good.
I can’t remember the game.
I heard that story so many times
Hundreds
I can’t remember who you were playing against when you did it.
Now that’s the most important thing I need to know
‘Cause one day I’ll want to tell the kids
I’ll want them to know everything and I can’t remember.
You’re not here to ask.
I want you to be here to ask.
You see I could work out the date if I knew who it was you played
Or what date you played.
I could work it back
It was a Wednesday
It had to be a Wednesday
Only ever a Wednesday in the venue.
I’ve never known the date
We could never remember
‘Oh it’s around this time of year’
A few weeks before your birthday.
I always assumed it was a couple of weeks but now I’m questioning whether it was more.
I walked round Home Bargains looking to get you a little something
But not a lot ’cause we weren’t actually together
Not boyfriend girlfriend yet
And I was a student so had not a lot of money for my friend I’d only kissed once on a Wednesday.
I decided against sweets
How can someone with a broken jaw chew sweets!
Valentines day was on a Saturday
You dragged me up to Ulverston to watch your rugby team play.
It was snowing
And freezing
I only had a hoodie on
You’d said that would be enough.
I’d never watched a game of rugby before
I had no idea what was going on, or who anyone was
Later on we went to a Valentines disco the club had organised
We danced
Well swayed to the music
You were never a very good dancer
More Bez style arm waving than any real rhythm.
You with your broken jaw
Laughed as you whispered, ‘These think we’re proper boyfriend and girlfriend’
And I smiled
‘Cause we weren’t, but that was the happiest I’d remembered feeling in such a long time.
We’d had one kiss
A random snog outside the venue a few weeks before
I hadn’t even really fancied you.
Then you’d broke your jaw
And you became my best friend.
I can’t remember the date.
It was a Wednesday
It had to be a Wednesday.
A random Wednesday in the venue
A few weeks before your birthday
Maybe a couple before you broke your jaw
Around this time of year
16 years ago.
16 years.
I miss you
And all of me hurts.
I just want to be able to ask you the date
An insignificant date
A date that has never mattered to me before.
A date I can’t remember
We could never remember
I never want to forget.
Posted by Bec Cowley
Categories: Letters to Chris, Thoughts and More
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I have moments like these too but you know, it’s not the date it’s the memory and the story, and it’s a beautiful story. Your kids will think so too x x x x x
By Julia @ rainbeaubelle on 29/01/2018 at 12:22 pm
I wish I could take away some of your hurt. Sending you lots of love x
By Helen Costello on 29/01/2018 at 12:40 pm
Sending lots of love xxx
By Tina (@TheMotherGeek) on 29/01/2018 at 12:57 pm
Hoping someone else can help you remember the date… but the general memories are all yours and I hope they keep you going x
By Stephs Two Girls on 29/01/2018 at 1:32 pm
Oh Becky. That date doesn’t matter, the love in that story is what matters. It’s where you as a couple and your family began and I cannot imagine how you feel but sending love your way x
By Donna on 30/01/2018 at 12:56 pm
Beautiful Becky, something will help you remember I’m sure although you are probably already right with a Wednesday. God bless you lovely, sending love ❤️ Xxx
By Suzy on 18/02/2018 at 9:26 pm