The Year of Tin

To You,

Wow! 10 Years.

There was a moment a while back I wasn’t so sure we’d get to this anniversary.

This time last year I did not enjoy buying your anniversary card, I didn’t want to tell you how much of a good husband you were or pick a soppy card brimming with sentiments of my undying love, I just wasn’t feeling it.

Turns out you weren’t either.

I think we had just forgotten what we liked about each other and because we’d forgotten we began to be pulled in opposite directions until you asked if I was happy. It got us to be still and just stop moving until we could try to figure things out.

Once you forget why you like someone you focus on all the little annoying things that usually wouldn’t matter but turn into dislike and disdain.

We talked, we ranted, I’m pretty sure we couldn’t stand each other at points, didn’t want to be near each other, didn’t see a point, said we would be happier apart. And at that moment we probably would have been.

We told each other what we wanted, what was bothering us and what we needed to change.

We went round in circles for weeks, darkness consuming us both.

We promised, through gritted teeth and eye-rolls that we would try. Neither of us really certain that it would help.

But somewhere in there we started to drift back to each other again.

We had listened to each other and had adjusted (not changed) behaviours to be more considerate to each other.

We started to remember why we got married in the first place, enjoyed spending time together and with the kids, remembered what we liked about each other.

We started to laugh again.

Of course the niggly bits that we don’t like didn’t go away they just became, less, important.

Not worth losing each other over.

Marriage, relationships are bloody tough. Throw in a couple of kids, full-time work, the juggling act of being part of a couple whilst trying to remain yourself, there are bound to be ups and downs. It’s hard, hard work, that takes compromise, listening, respect and a shit load of communication.

I’m glad we didn’t give up, that we started to talk again and we were willing to fight.

I’m glad we kept looking for a little bit of hope to grab on to in the desperate belief it would guide us back together.

It did.

When I met you, you showed me what living in the light is truly like.

You make me laugh like no one else can.

Your support is unshakeable, even when my ideas are hair-brained.

I’m not saying we are perfect, far from it, but we are happy.

Despite the showers of shite the universe keeps heaping on us we managed to stick 2 fingers up to it and smile.

We stand and fight together and we prop each other up from the wounds each battle inflicts.

Happy 10 Year Anniversary!

Thank you for not giving up.

Thank you for believing in us and our family.