31536000 Seconds

You have been missing from me From us For 31536000 seconds. It is incomprehensible. In that moment all those seconds ago I couldn’t imagine surviving a single second without you Couldn’t imagine a second of life with you not here. I had never let myself think about it I had never believed we would have […]

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Regrets, I’ve got a few

I wish we’d have talked more about death That each time you started the conversation I hadn’t changed the subject. I wish I hadn’t told you not to worry Telling you we had plenty of time to talk about it ‘Cause although you’d accepted it, you were still scared of it You still didn’t want […]

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The Lost Voice

I wonder where my voice has gone Why I find it so difficult to say Anything When once I was so sure of who I was Now I have no idea at all. I mean, I think I’m still me I am me. Just a different version perhaps A shell of a person I once […]

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When is Daddy coming home?

Sam now often asks; When is daddy coming home? It has become a reoccurring question I remind him that he knows daddy is in heaven, that daddy can’t come back I know mummy, when can I see daddy again? I remind him gently, he knows he won’t be able to I want to see my […]

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22.06.17

There’s been many dates, many moments that are burnt into my memory from the last two years or so. The majority wonderful, happy, fun. Memories that keep me going when it feels like the darkness begins to win Moments that the kids talk about, moments that will last a lifetime. Then there’s the one’s I’d […]

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