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A Jumble of Thoughts

My thoughts jump.

From negative to positive

From hope to despair

From darkness to light

From planning to living in the moment.

Then back again.

The cycle repeats.

The thoughts repeat.

Caught in a tornado, continually growing

Trying to destroy

No where for them to go.

No release.

They’ve got stuck

And my brain has been getting busy.

They stopped making sense and jumbled together

Becoming abstract

With any attempt at coherence lost.

Each train running seamlessly into one another

Over, under, beside, through another.

I have missed this.

Writing.

Being here.

In this space that gives me control to clear the air I breathe

That enables me to face the light.

I didn’t really mean to take such a long break.

I have always only written when I’ve needed to, when I’ve had something to say.

And I have.

I have needed to

I have lots to say.

My mind is flooded with thoughts, dreams, quotes, songs, ideas, memories.

That need to be poured onto paper

To relieve the busy in my brain

That threatens my super power of calm.

I have just not found the time to do them justice

These thoughts

These words.

To make sure I was not just rambling for the sake of it

I was not just rehashing old feelings and fears

That I remained honest.

So now I write.

Not just a want a need.

It may not always make sense

My thoughts often don’t

They’re still present.

Not old, not then, not rehashed or gone over again and again, but now

They deserve to be free

So I can acknowledge

And stay true to me.

One thought on “A Jumble of Thoughts

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