My thoughts jump.
From negative to positive
From hope to despair
From darkness to light
From planning to living in the moment.
Then back again.
The cycle repeats.
The thoughts repeat.
Caught in a tornado, continually growing
Trying to destroy
No where for them to go.
They’ve got stuck
And my brain has been getting busy.
They stopped making sense and jumbled together
With any attempt at coherence lost.
Each train running seamlessly into one another
Over, under, beside, through another.
I have missed this.
In this space that gives me control to clear the air I breathe
That enables me to face the light.
I didn’t really mean to take such a long break.
I have always only written when I’ve needed to, when I’ve had something to say.
And I have.
I have needed to
I have lots to say.
My mind is flooded with thoughts, dreams, quotes, songs, ideas, memories.
That need to be poured onto paper
To relieve the busy in my brain
That threatens my super power of calm.
I have just not found the time to do them justice
To make sure I was not just rambling for the sake of it
I was not just rehashing old feelings and fears
That I remained honest.
So now I write.
Not just a want a need.
It may not always make sense
My thoughts often don’t
They’re still present.
Not old, not then, not rehashed or gone over again and again, but now
They deserve to be free
So I can acknowledge
And stay true to me.
One thought on “A Jumble of Thoughts”
I hope you’re ok Becky and that the treatment is going well too. Sending you both lots of good wishes and prayers x