So I’ve recovered. Just.

After much grunting and moaning every time I moved over the last couple of days, about how sore my ‘Gluteus Medius’ has been. (wiki my saviour, I was getting fed up of telling everyone how much my bum was hurting) I decided that momentum was the key to success. Or in my case, the key to my heart not exploding in my chest Kill Bill style in March.

I treated myself to a rest day on Wednesday, I wrote my blog and whinged to Mr C, who muttered something  under his breath about No Pain, No Gain which wanted me to cause him pain by punching him straight in his face. I also took a bit of time to decide what I was going to do. As I’m not a runner, I’ve decided my new training plan for the forseeable future, to build up stamina will consist of walking, swimming and cycling (on an exercise bike.)

So last night I went swimming. Swimming is a faff. For Girls. The main faff is all the defuzzing before hand, and then there’s the getting ready, the getting wet, the getting out, the washing your hair, the getting dry, the getting home. Like I said a faff! But Faff or not I was swimming.

I decided to go straight from work, I finish at half 4 and I pass a leisure centre on my way home. This, was a mistake in itself. I hadn’t accounted for swimming lessons and what felt like hundreds of children (brats) causing waves! I looked kind of beach whale esq but as swimsuits are tight my bits didn’t really wobble which is always a bonus!  I swam for about 25 long boring minutes. Length after boring length. I’m not that bad at swimming, so didn’t need to rest between lengths although I always lose track of how far I’ve swum. I’ve no goggles so had to keep my head out of water so my neck was sore (goggles going on the training essentials list). I was also a little self conscious cause a couple of lads kept sticking their goggled eyes under water when I was approaching, at one point I was worried there may be a boob on the loose! I was struggling on the concentration front a bit too, thinking how much better my swim would be if I had a water proof ipod, (do these even exist?) when I spotted 2 little boys waiting to get into the pool for their lesson shivering like it was the arctic. I laugh/snorted and a load of pool water has gone up my nose, which said boys had probably peed in. I decided it was time to get out!

It actually did my bottom muscles some good, I’ve not been moaning at all (half as much) today, so tonight I decided I’d go for another walk.

I was a bit restricted for time. Mr C likes to go for a quick pint on a Friday night, so it was either go earlier and the route be shorter or go later. I opted for the earlier.

I picked a shorter route, again telling Mr C which way I was headed. I’m still wearing his trackies but I opted for a hoodie of my own tonight. I began to stretch. Mr C must have some kind of death wish this evening as he pointed out that a walk was classed as a warm up. I explained, as politely as I could whilst stretching, that ‘my bloody legs were killing the other day’ to which I was informed that to do any good I’d need to stretch for half an hour. Well I don’t remember taking 30 minutes to stretch in PE at school, the lesson would’ve been over, which is exactly what I told him!

I’m feeling a bit more confident, although I’ve no clue why! I’ve got a new app on my phone that tracks your route and how long it takes so I started to record. My motivational playlist starts off with Resurrection this evening.

Mr C is right, the 5 minutes I spent stretching was a waste of time, my shins are killing! He said walking was a warm up so I know that if I ignore them and stop imagining them snapping, the pain will go away. I’m off the main road quicker tonight, and the road is a bit quieter. I have a thought, maybe my shins are hurting ’cause of the pressure I’m putting on them! Maybe if I Jogged, there would be less pressure ’cause I wouldn’t be walking with my tiny short-legged stride. Maybe I should try to jog. So I did! I jogged! And do you know what thought did? Thought had me blowing out my arse in less than 100 metres, that’s what thought did!

The jogging didn’t last long, but I jogged. For a bit, and when I started walking again my shins were no longer sore so it did my a bit of good. Plus there was another incline coming and I did not want to collapse here!

I was back on the main road, it’s down hill for a bit and it’s breezy. It wasn’t so bad the jogging. I’m thinking a few more ‘power walks’ and maybe I’ll be able to jog this whole route. Maybe. I keep walking.

Do you know how many chippys I pass on this route? 3! All pumping out their Friday supper smell into the street. It’s torture for someone with an appetite like mine!

I’m getting closer to home. Oh god, my head and legs have taken over! My heart rate hates me. I’m only bloody jogging again. Ooo I’m getting good at this jogging lark! Oh No wait, no I’m not, I’m not getting good! Yep, still shit at it, going to have to start walking again, Can hear my pulse over the music!

I’m home and finishing off with Proud Mary, I’ve heard my theme tune earlier. I think it contributed to the last blast of jogging.

I check my route app thingy, to see how well I’ve done! 2 miles, not bad, average of 3.2 miles an hour! Well done me! 30 minutes! Not bad at all! I sit and do a quick calculation. At this rate I will have finished this half marathon in approx 5 hours!

Well everyone’s got to start somewhere!