Dealing with Cancer in the Family

My heart broke for a stranger

I wonder where your sons are you are talking of so fondly.

What happened or what could be so important that they’ve been unable to be here.

Or grandchildren? With 3 sons there’s surely grandchildren.

I understand that families don’t always get on.

They become estranged.

But surely there’s someone.

Someone with a few hours for you.

You are alone.

I can’t help thinking you shouldn’t be.

I know you shouldn’t be.

Alone.

You’re with a care worker, you’ve been chatting the whole time you’ve been here. You’re learning about her life, she is quite happy to answer your questions. You are telling her about the life you have lived, about meeting your wife and about your sons.

She brings you water and makes you a cup of tea.

You have just met, it’s obvious by the conversation.

I can’t help wondering if they know you’re here.

If someone has rung them so they can be here with you.

It’s difficult not to overhear. What the doctors say.

I think you should probably be in a private room ’cause the curtains that surround you are not sound proof.

As they talk to you I can feel it.

My heart.

It’s breaking a little.

For a stranger.

I can’t help thinking.

You shouldn’t be alone.

I want to leave the room but there’s no where for me to go.

Whilst they tell you they’ll try this last time.

But it probably won’t work.

That they’ll try this last time

But the tumour is likely to grow.

That they’ll try this last time.

But eventually you’ll be paralysed.

That they’ll try this last time.

As you ask them what that means, how long you might have.

I can’t help but cry for you.

A stranger

As I wonder whereย your family is.

Why you’re hearing this news with a care worker you’ve just met

My heart breaks for you

A stranger.

Who shouldn’t be alone.

4 thoughts on “My heart broke for a stranger

  1. Oh this made me so sad. My grandma had to go alone to her chemo as I was at university and my uncle was working. It broke my heart that she heard bad news without us. My relief comes from the fact that we were with her when she died. We cared for her at home, just as she wanted.

    1. I know it probably couldn’t have been helped, I just felt like I wanted to hold his hand. He was in as an emergency, I don’t think it was planned. The curtains really aren’t sound proof!
      I’m so glad you were able to be with her as she wanted, it’s just cruel isn’t it xx

  2. Wow. Your writing really hits home. This was such an emotional read. I came across your blog via a mutual friend. Your journey as a family… You write so well. Really… I just wish you all the best. You are in this stranger’s thoughts. And I’m sending you strength and healing across the miles xxx

Comments make me Happy! Like cake does but with less calories

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