Adjustments and Laughter

The past few weeks have been those of adjustment and laughter.

Adjusting to news we weren’t expecting.

It’s harder to hear the second time round, you’re very aware of the what a cancer re occurrence so soon can mean.

Adjusting to knowing that there will be no cure for Chris’ cancer.

He will have to keep fighting for as long as he can.

Adjusting to another treatment regime, which may or may not be able to control the spread of disease.

Working out a new routine of appointments and trips to Christies.

Adjusting to Chris having to be in his wheelchair all the time now, no longer having strength in his leg to be able to use his crutches.

Making adjustments to the house to make it more accessible for him, with a stair lift and a sofa bed for when he has no energy to get upstairs.

Adapting the way we do things are do so Chris can maintain some independence.

Adjusting to now being a carer, as well as a wife and mummy

Becoming responsible for all of the cooking, tidying, bedtime routines and everything else around the house.

Adjusting to the very real prospect of very limited time.

It has gone quickly and at times it’s been exhausting. A constant whirlwind of thoughts and emotions.

Although it feels like a lifetime in reality it’s still only been a few weeks.

I can no longer remember my life before.

We have been learning, adapting and making changes as we have been going along.

Finding a new way of doing things and coping with each new symptom or side effect.

Thinking differently about the way we have always done things.

To make life a little easier for all of us.

We have been changing plans, making plans and setting goals.

Celebrating everything.

Spending time with friends and family.

And not leaving it so long next time.

We have been telling those we care about how much we love them.

We have been laughing.

I have been laughing, a lot.

Chris has always made me laugh, since I’ve known him a day has not gone by without a giggle.

Now I laugh at our life and the situations we find ourselves in.

I laugh when I get him out of the house in his wheelchair, banging his arms on the door frame as I go.

I laugh when I can’t get him up curbs in the street.

I laugh when he, or the kids use the stair lift and crack jokes as they go, slowly, upstairs.

I laughed when the chemo upset his stomach and he struggled to get to the loo in time.

I laugh when he says that his sheer stubbornness will give him 6 more months on top of any other time he’s told.

I laugh because you have to laugh at these things.

It diffuses how awful it could be if we let it take over.

And I won’t let it take over.

I will not let cancer steal our laughter

I will not let it steal the joy that laughing together brings.

I’m sure as we continue on this path we find ourselves on that we will need to keep making changes, big and small.

But through it we will smile

We will laugh

Until the very end.

They say, the most wasted day of all is one in which we haven’t laughed

And I don’t want to waste a single day.

Posted by

30 something, married, mummy of one. Getting by on chocolate and laughter.

20 thoughts on “Adjustments and Laughter

  1. I hope you all keep laughing together and making those memories for many years to come. I think about you all a lot and am praying for you xx

  2. Keep laughing, keep smiling and keep making memories. We never know what’s round the corner for any of us, you just have to live for the day. You are amazing, you both are xx

  3. Beautiful Becky. I 100% agree that laughter is a gift and can get you through most things. Keep giggling lady, you’re doing amazingly. xx

  4. Your attitude is incredible and I think you are the most fabulous family. You also have a seriously infectious laugh. Here’s to many more moments of laughter. xxx

  5. Oh Becky I love how you keep laughing. Without laughter it would be a sad world. Keep smiling and laughing and make each moment count. Sending lots of love and hugs to you all xx

  6. Beck,I cried reading this.
    But I smiled too,because I love your ability to do the same, and to laugh in the face of adversity,and to stay so seemingly positive,even when you’re probably not.
    I have so much admiration for you and Chris,you are both an inspiration.
    Keep fighting and keep smiling you amazing pair x

  7. Your writing is still amazing, and I love how you are making the most of everything and still laughing. You are both brilliant role models and your children will be learning so much from you. Love to you all xx

  8. Inspirational, brave and courageous… sending you all love, prayers and strength keep fighting Chris 🙏🏼🙏🏼

  9. I think of you all often. You’re amazing Becky, so strong. The way you’ve all handled this is just amazing, I haven’t got any other words. Keep laughing, keep fighting. Love to you and yours xxx

  10. How you can make me laugh and cry I don’t know Becky but you do! I often think of you Chris and your beautiful children keep on laughing, you are right. I will laugh more also, thank you and thinking of you both xx

  11. I get all this. My dear Dad was diagnosed last May and he was gone by October. Nothing can prepare you for how quickly cancer can take control. I hate every ounce of the awful disease. I am so sorry for you all. I hope you can find the strength to get through every day. Xx

  12. What a fabulously uplifting post. Even though it makes me cry and it is the saddest thing I’ve read for a long time it also makes me smile, that you both can still laugh and enjoy whatever time you have together.

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