Missing the Laughter

I miss it.

The laughter

The silliness

That my life was once full of.

The jokes, usually at my expense

The quick one liners

The looks and eye-rolls at something I’d said

Something someone else had said, or something we’d seen or heard

The stories of daft things he’d done

The mutual teasing of each other

Taking the piss

Finding things the kids did hilarious, and being able to share that because we created these crazy monkeys.

I miss the easiness the laughter came

I laughed daily

We laughed all the time

He was the funniest person I have ever met.

It’s gone

Now he’s gone.

I do laugh now, I do still find things funny

My sense of humour is still there, I hope.

I am surrounded by good people who have always made me laugh and continue to do so

I laugh at things I watch

Or quotes & pictures that are shared on-line

Memories on Facebook and pictures that pop up

I laugh at the kids and the daft things they say or do

But it’s not the same

Now I mostly laugh alone.

It’s not as often

Not for as long

Not always someone to share it with

It’s not the same

It is less.

Even when things were really bad

When the news was the worst

When we realised time was against us

We still laughed.

He made me laugh.

And now he doesn’t

And I don’t.

I got lost in YouTube the other day, watching clips of comedians and comedy programmes

I laughed, out loud, a lot.

I spent the day laughing and It felt good

To laugh

Because laughter is the best medicine.

It made me realise how much it is now missing from my life.

I need to laugh to feel like I can face the day

But I’ll never laugh like I did with him

I need him here to make me laugh

To make me feel like I can find my way in the world without him.

The laughter he created made me feel invincible

Gave me the ability to look at the world in the light.

Now it’s missing, parts of me are broken

I’m not sure they’ll ever be fixed.

Without it my world is a darker place

I miss it, the laughter.

I miss the life I had that was filled with it.

I miss him here, making me laugh

Making me happy

Making my world a better place.

Posted by

30 something, married, mummy of one. Getting by on chocolate and laughter.

7 thoughts on “Missing the Laughter

  1. Mine is Buzzfeed. Stupid photos of people doing stupid things. I must have spent so many days of my life laughing at them. My mate Pippa understands. Sometimes, when she knows I’ve had a hard day, she’ll share one and tag me – a gift to end my evening or fill the early hours.
    Laughing is the closest thing to crying, but the furthest away. Love and strength to you as always – you are doing an awesome job xxx

    1. It was 8 out of 10 cats does countdown the other day, endless clips or best bits & I cried laughing. Thank you lovely lady & right back at you xxxx

  2. To have had some one so special can (I only imagine) be so hard to not have beside you. You knew Chris the best and your time together was clearly a time that was filled with love, laughter and tears, you won’t forget any of these times and you shouldn’t, these times made you and Chris the people and parents that you are and the strength that you both have shared can only go to show that love conquers time and space, and your children will love you for this, but time won’t heal, it will simply allow you to go on.

  3. Hi. I love how you remember the good things how your lovely husband made you feel. Those memories will live with you for ever. You inspire me and for that i thank you.
    My teenager is dying and how ever hard it gets i hope that your beautiful words will help. Take care of yourself xx

    1. I am so sorry to hear about your teenager, I can’t begin to understand how you are feeling but I do understand the feeling of helplessness. Please let me know if I can do anything, sending you love & strength xx

      1. Thank you. He passed away on Thursday and i just don’t know what to do. I can’t sleep, eat or even talk xx

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