I miss it.
That my life was once full of.
The jokes, usually at my expense
The quick one liners
The looks and eye-rolls at something I’d said
Something someone else had said, or something we’d seen or heard
The stories of daft things he’d done
The mutual teasing of each other
Taking the piss
Finding things the kids did hilarious, and being able to share that because we created these crazy monkeys.
I miss the easiness the laughter came
I laughed daily
We laughed all the time
He was the funniest person I have ever met.
Now he’s gone.
I do laugh now, I do still find things funny
My sense of humour is still there, I hope.
I am surrounded by good people who have always made me laugh and continue to do so
I laugh at things I watch
Or quotes & pictures that are shared on-line
Memories on Facebook and pictures that pop up
I laugh at the kids and the daft things they say or do
But it’s not the same
Now I mostly laugh alone.
It’s not as often
Not for as long
Not always someone to share it with
It’s not the same
It is less.
Even when things were really bad
When the news was the worst
When we realised time was against us
We still laughed.
He made me laugh.
And now he doesn’t
And I don’t.
I got lost in YouTube the other day, watching clips of comedians and comedy programmes
I laughed, out loud, a lot.
I spent the day laughing and It felt good
Because laughter is the best medicine.
It made me realise how much it is now missing from my life.
I need to laugh to feel like I can face the day
But I’ll never laugh like I did with him
I need him here to make me laugh
To make me feel like I can find my way in the world without him.
The laughter he created made me feel invincible
Gave me the ability to look at the world in the light.
Now it’s missing, parts of me are broken
I’m not sure they’ll ever be fixed.
Without it my world is a darker place
I miss it, the laughter.
I miss the life I had that was filled with it.
I miss him here, making me laugh
Making me happy
Making my world a better place.