‘Good Evening, My name is Becky and I’m an overeater’
‘Good Evening Becky’
‘It’s been 2 days since my last slice of cake’
Ok, so I’ve not really joined Eaters Anonymous. If it existed, and I don’t just mean a slimming club I mean a place for people like me, I would attend!
They say the 1st step is admitting you have a problem. Well here I am, holding my hands up in the air and shouting. I LOVE FOOD AND I CAN’T STOP EATING!
Today is the 1st day of my diet. It’s not my 1st diet, I’ve successfully followed slimming world before and lost weight, then started eating again and put it back on. In fact I’ve been dieting for the best part of 6 years. Before that I didn’t give a shit! It’s the 1st day of this particular try at eating better. As I sit here having already eaten a bag of minstrels, I’m now working my way through a bag of revels, I know something has to change!
I may have mentioned before that I’m a little overweight. I am. I’m not after sympathy and for you to tell me that I look fine. I’m not a size 10 looking for a compliment!
I hate it when skinny women go on about needing to lose weight, I’m not one of those: ‘I’m so fat, I need to lose so much weight’ as they suck on a celery stick, and there’s not even a centimetre never mind an inch to pinch. When I can taken a good handful of my love handles and have plenty to spare! It’s a bloody insult to the more voluptuous amongst us. Shut the fuck up and have a slice of this triple chocolate cake I’m working my way through! You don’t know the meaning of fat!
I haven’t been a size 10 since, well I can’t bloody remember. Anyway, in clothes I pass, I manage to hide most of my rolls. I’m very aware that there are people bigger than me. Mr C loves me exactly how I am and I’m actually pretty happy at the moment. It’s not an issue that’s getting me down. Although shopping for clothes is a fucking trauma, with the bad lighting and the mirrors that cover every angle! I don’t believe that you have to be skinny to be beautiful. I think woman should have curves. I don’t even want to be skinny to be honest. In fact if I was perfectly proportioned but my size, there wouldn’t be a problem. The problem is that I carry the majority of my weight around my midriff, causing a constant pregnancy look, only someone with child can normally carry off! When I sit down my boobs touch my belly and my belly touch my knees. It’s that issue I don’t like! Sat like a giant wobbly capital B!
So tomorrow (always tomorrow) I’m really going to start thinking about what extra I’m eating. It’s not the meals, believe it or not I don’t eat that badly. It’s the ‘forgetting’ I’ve already eaten 2 cream eggs at work and having another one when I get home!
I’m also going to start running again, something I’ve not done for a long time now but that I actually miss. This might spur me on, there’s a few things coming up that I know I’ll feel uncomfortable doing unless I shed a couple of pounds. So really the time is now to start!
Oh and so you know, this isn’t licence for you to question me every time I’m eating a biscuit. Yes I want to eat better. Yes I want to lose a bit of weight, But I also want to live my life. If I want a biscuit I’ll eat one, I’ll just make sure I don’t forget and eat half a packet!
And If I even hear you utter ‘a moment on the lips’ so help me I will stab you in the eye with my dessert spoon!!