So here I am, new to this blogging malarky and I’m already having a massive panic!

I thought about blogging for a while before I finally got the courage to write my first post and share it with the world! Sometimes the voice in my head would narrate what was happening, sentences would pop in there. I’d be reading back, in my head obviously, what was going on. That’s how it is, I think and dream in pictures like a film and sometimes my thoughts are read back like a book. I’ve always enjoyed writing and I love to read, for a long time I just put the story of my life that kept appearing in my head down to that.

I have a very busy brain, it’s mainly full of rubbish and nonsensical daydreams, thoughts and unfounded worries. Sometimes when I think too much I struggle. The narrative in my head, albeit amusing quite a lot of the time, was starting to cloud the other stuff that I really needed to think about, so the only really logical option was for me to write it down, and whilst I’m doing that I might as well have a bit of fun and share my ramblings, for other people to have a little glance into my brain and possibly enjoy what they were reading.

So far I’m pretty sure it’s mainly my friends and possibly my mum that read my posts, that’s fine I’m not really looking for 1000s of views. Then I realised there was a whole blogging community out there, well I love to be a part of stuff so I thought I’d put myself out there and get involved.

Here’s where the panic starts!

I’m completely out of my depth with all of this!

For starters I’ve only just worked out how to make my blog look pretty, I’ve only just realised you can add links, I’ve only just realised how and what those Widget things are the side (or bottom, all depending on your browser) of my page. Even now I don’t know what half the options are or know why they’re called widgets, I thought that was something that was in cans to make the beer frothy!

I’ve joined a couple of blog communities where I read a couple of starting out posts, which are brilliantly informative but nearly made me hyperventilate! There’s so much to take in!

The best way to be involved is to start reading and commenting on other people’s posts. I’ve started reading, I’ve dipped into reading people’s blogs before but this past week I’ve been making a conscious effort to look for blogs and read them and comment.

Well let me tell you, there are some bloody brilliant, funny, inspiring, sad, amazingly written blogs out there all with wonderful content and meaning. I am in complete awe and can only dream to write as well as they can.

What am I actually trying to say in my posts? Nothing specific! Like I said my head is full of crap! I’m just planning on writing about anything that comes to me! I’ve read back some of my posts and I don’t even think I have a voice! A post written about my running has a completely different style to the one I wrote about Me 2 You. Both written by me but when I was in different moods so both have completely different tones, they could literally be writing by different people! What is my voice? I don’t bloody know, I’m now worried I will sound like someone else and I’m not being original. Sometimes I can’t even think of anything to write about. My friends say I write like I talk, maybe that’s my voice but does that mean that people who don’t know me won’t get what I’m trying to say, won’t find the bits that I’m trying to be funny, funny? My blog is for me, as most blogs are so I shouldn’t even be thinking about this but here I am writing it down!

 I’ve started commenting on posts I like but now I’m worried my comments make me look like a complete tit! Am I saying the right thing, using the right tone? I don’t want to be butting in ‘cause no one has a clue who I am. Everyone seems really friendly and supportive but I don’t want to make the wrong kind of splash into this community before I’ve even started when all I want to do is dip my toe and cause a few friendly ripples!

I’ve so far this week signed up to tumblr, pinterest and stumbleupon with no clue what I’m supposed to be doing on any of them or how they will help me. I have found some pretty nice craft ideas on stumpleupon but it’s not going to help me with my writing. I don’t even know where to start with pinterest! I’ve so far pinterested my own photos but I really don’t think that’s the point!

Then there’s RSS feeds, whaaaat!! (said in minion from despicable me style) I reckon I should have one but I don’t know what it is or what it does! I tried to add it as one of those widget thingys, I didn’t do it right so removed it! I’m not really that technically minded to be honest, which also isn’t helping!

There’s all sorts of other stuff I can’t even bloody remember right now like bloglovin, SEOs, badges and linkys that I know are important and I should deal with but they’ve been filed well back there in the ‘you have no fucking clue what this is or how it works’ draw in my brain!

I’m mean I’m sure I’ll get to the bottom of all this eventually, won’t I?

 Won’t I?

I was useless at facebook when that came out, then Twitter and I can work my way round those now!

It’s just right now I’m like Holy Fucksticks batman, I am seriously out of my depth!

Then I’m thinking do I really want to encourage people to find me and read what I’ve written ‘cause what if I’m kidding myself and really my writing bloody awful and my friends have been telling me it’s good when it’s not really (just venting, not attention seeking here by the way), but then it can’t be pointless ‘cause it has a point to me.

Now I just think this whole post has made me come across pretty desperate and needy, it wasn’t supposed to be like this!

Fuck It!

Girl with a massive bottom and queen theme tune here, with yet undefined voice and split personality writing style, maybe funny, possibly not, friends like it (or are lying), dipping big toe of right foot (seems appropriate) into blogging community, hoping to cause some friendly ripples.