Dear Rhyl,

I should be packing. I will no doubt as usual end up throwing things in a bag tomorrow and hoping for the best.

I’ve so far got the kids stuff together and our shoes, that I will be ceremonially dumped in the boot tomorrow are lined up ready!

This shouldn’t be too much of a problem, we’re only joining you for the weekend.

You are going to be nice to us aren’t you Rhyl?

We’d like a bit of sunshine and for you to hold off the rain.

Actually, if you could just hold of the rain that would be great.

You know if it’s raining and we have to control 7 kids in the caravans we’re going to have a problem.

Stir crazy will be an understatement and shit will go down, and more than likely be thrown!

It will not be a stress free situation!

We’re excited to see you Rhyl!

Are your beaches clean?

Am I likely to win anything on a grabber?

Are there plenty of 2p machines?

Is Frank Bruno really going to be at the caravan site?

Is the candy floss fresh?

Is there a soft play area that serves strong coffee we can throw the kids in if it all gets too much?

Does your fresh air help with a hangover?

I’ll be really honest, most of the discussion about coming to see you has revolved around the consumption of alcohol. Don’t take it personally.

We won’t be enjoying it. We’ll need it!

Can you do me a favour though? I’d really like to not lose the kid this weekend. She’s a wiley little thing prone to selective hearing. I’ve experienced the whole losing thing before and although it was only for a few minutes it felt like a lifetime and it was quite scary. It would kind of put a dampner on the whole weekend. Plus Mr C keeps making worried noises every time I mention vodka and you in the same sentence, so I could really do with some assurances from you about this.

I hope you’re ready for us!

To say we’re looking forward to our weekend is an understatement! Although I’m really not sure we’ve fully grasped the reality of 6 women and 7 children all under 6 in 2 caravans I’m sure it’ll be an experience that we won’t forget in a hurry!

I don’t think you’ll miss us, although we’ll try to keep the noise down, I can’t make any promises.

Anyway, I must go, I’ve got an early start, there’s some serious defuzzing needs doing tomorrow morning, there’s been talk of swimming and my eyebrows are nearly forming cocoons!

See you tomorrow Rhyl.

This weekend is going to be fun!

I promise