It’s been a tough couple of days here, I’m not ready to tell you about it yet, but it’s been worrying.

I hadn’t realised how tiring worry is.

Today I mentioned my worries to my friend, she goes to church every Sunday. She’s a good friend, we work together, she’s a lovely girl who follows her religion in the way it should be followed. She is compassionate and generally a really nice person.

She said she would pray. That she would say a little prayer for me, ’cause, and I quote ‘I like a good pray’

It made me smile

I’m kind of envious of people who have this kind of faith. Full of admiration for people who follow their religion, believe in their god or idol in the way it should be. For good. Having something to turn to in hours of need.

I don’t really have a religion. It’s just not really for me.

I’m not saying I’m closed off to it. I think it’s good to have faith in something. Mr C was brought up Catholic and the munchkin goes to a church school. I even like going to church sometimes.

Maybe I do have faith in something. Maybe everyone does and it just isn’t in something structured. Even Atheists.

I believe in fate, sort of, that everything happens for a reason. Even though sometimes those happenings are just shit, basically.

Although I believe in fate, I don’t think it’s set in stone, everyone has choices which will affect how things happen.

Some things are just out of our control.

I believe in positive thinking.

Take what happened to Fabrice Muamba, how many thousand people all thinking at the same time the same thing, that he’d be ok. Praying.

Maybe I just need you all to think positive for us. Have faith that by having a good thought you might help us out a little bit.

When I really need a helping hand from someone, I ask Malc.

How strange for me not to pray to a god but to ask things of a person who was once here.

I’ve asked him a lot to bring us the sunshine and he has, he really has. It’s a running joke with our friends.

I’ve been speaking to him a lot the last couple of days.

Right now I would give up everyday of sunshine.