So this week harsh reality has stepped up and slapped me in the face with a wet fish, my head has been yanked from the sand and I’ve had to start thinking about, gulp, childcare for the froglet.
I just don’t wanna!
I am on the dreaded countdown of returning to work. My maternity leave is coming to an end and on the 2nd March I will be shoe-horning myself back into my pre-pregnancy body work clothes and attempting to do a full 8 hours out of the house thinking about something other than nappies and bottles, only having to think about getting myself safely through the day.
Already I know the next few weeks are going to go far too quickly. The days are flying by at speed. It’s already the weekend again before I’ve got anything done! Which will be good when I’m back at work but not now. Right now I want to slow time right down!
Don’t get me wrong, I like my job. I like the people there and I like what I do, some (me) might say I’m actually quite good at what I do. It’s just that really I’d rather be stopping at home forever with the baby and doing the shitty school run (I have hatred for the school run) for the munchkin.
I’m finding it really difficult to start thinking about anyone else but me spending the day with him. He’s my little mummy’s boy. I know what he needs when he needs them and what makes him laugh and the noises he makes when the thing that was making him laugh is about to make him cry!
I need to go back, we simply couldn’t afford for me not to. Even taking into consideration the price of childcare! I had so forgotten how expensive childcare was! I’m taking a salary decrease to reflect my change in hours. I’m going back term time only so at least I have something to look forward to every 5-6 weeks! It will be good, in a way, to settle back into a routine. I’d just rather that routine let me get dressed at leisure and sometimes, quite often, waste as hour a day watching Jeremy Kyle!
So right now, I’m wishing that time would slow down, just a little bit. I’m going to stick my head firmly back in the sand, spend as much time as humanly possible with the baby and try to get a little bit of order in the house.
The next few weeks will mostly consist of many cuddles with this cheeky face!