Dealing with Cancer in the Family · Thoughts and More

When is gout not gout?

Dear Universe,

I require the details of your complaints department.

Quite frankly I’ve had enough and to be brutally honest I think you’re taking the piss.

I want my money, well maybe not money. Karma, good times, luck, something back.

How unlucky do you have to make one family?

We have had our fair share of petty bad luck over the years. You’ll remember when Mr C and I first moved in together the winter you decided, among a long list of other things, to leave us over a very frosty winter without hot water or heating and only a borrowed small blow heater to keep us from freezing.

You’ll also remember you did that too us more recently too, luckily we now have a gas fire and for a change had a little spare cash to get it fixed. No I’ve not idea how we had spare cash either!

I can just about forgive you for taking Malc away from us early. Although cruel in its timing and heartbreaking in its effect to our family, especially Mr C, we gained strength.

It’s a bloody good job really isn’t it, ‘cause in the last few years you have really outdone yourself and upped your game.

I’m a big believer that things always happen for a reason, call it fate, call it whatever but for goodness sake can you not give us a break?

I’m not asking for much, my needs for life are simple.

Was it not bad enough you put us through 6 months of stress and worry about the Froglet during pregnancy.

Was it not bad enough that after all that you then tried to kill us both off!

I took great satisfaction in fighting back from deaths door, although to be fair I was pretty out of it for most of the time I was knocking on it.

With strength and positivity we got through the worst experience of our lives whilst our new beautiful baby spent 72 hours on a cooling blanket and we didn’t know if he would make it or how bad his brain damage would be.

I hope it pisses you off greatly that every milestone he meets, smile he gives, every day he is alive and happy we all stick 2 fingers up to you.

Do you not realise how raw this still is? How we’re still dealing with it?

Do you not see how hard this year has been already? How far we have come in so few months.

Now though, you’ve just really gone too far.

We have had our fair share of heartache, we have had our fair share of shit to put up with, we have had our fair share of being strong, we have had our fair share of having to stay positive.

I have had enough.

I’m really not sure we have any more to give.

Mr C is a good man, we are good people. We go to church, not every week granted, we give to charity, we are there for people in their hour of need. We empathise, we believe that fundamentally people are good, we are willing to give for our fellow man. Mr C has raised money for charity, we’ve volunteered, we’re nice people. I think we’re bloody hilarious and make people laugh. Our kids are nice, they’re polite, friendly, happy, yes even the baby you tried to take from us and yes even when I swear at them, under my breath, when I’m in a rush most mornings.

We do not deserve the shit you keep throwing at us.

He does not deserve this.

I’m not going to give you the satisfaction of worry. What good will that do but keep us up at night and weak for the fight.

He has been in pain for months, months and yet only now you throw this at us.

He does not deserve this.

Whatever you have now sent us to deal with is done. It’s there. We can only concentrate on getting whatever it is fixed, concentrate on getting over this.

If we struggle, if our positivity wanes, when we don’t look on the bright side, we have friends and family that will lift us, that will think positively with us and for us, that will send thoughts and prayers.

People who love us. Love him.

He does not deserve this.

Mark my words, whatever it is, be it something easy to fix or something more serious, we will bloody well fight it and we will yet again stick 2 fingers up to you.

When is gout not gout? When it’s a god damn bone tumour.

He does not deserve this!

God saves his hardest fights for his strongest soldiers.

We will shine, universe, We Will Shine, so send your bloody storm!

14 thoughts on “When is gout not gout?

  1. Heartbreaking to read, admire your courage and sticking two fingers up! Life isn’t fair but you’re right this is just taking the piss. Much love to you all to get through this, as you will I’m sure. Hugs xxx

  2. Amazingly positive post, did make me a bit emotional though. All the best to your family & hoping for better news.
    Lorraine x

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