It’s not all bad on this journey we’ve been forced to take.
Among the horror, the shittiness, the ever-changing emotions, the juggling, and the tension, there is still opportunity for normality.
Our normal has changed, adjusted and will keep doing so as Chris’ treatment plan progresses.
Last week was old school normal.
It was pre November normal when Chris didn’t have weekly appointments or procedures at one hospital or another.
I didn’t have to drive him any distance on a motorway anywhere to be told more bad news or for him to be away from us for the week.
It was so normal it was easy to forget that cancer has infiltrated and is trying to command our lives.
Last week was a good, no, a great week.
Chris was feeling well, the 2nd ‘rest’ week in between chemo sessions and it was half term.
I was ready for a week of none commuting.
We escaped for the weekend with friends, without the kids.
We ate out more than we should have.
I managed some time out, at a spa (thanks Mr C) and whiling a couple of hours away mooching round Bygone Times whilst Lily enjoyed a sleep over at her friends.
We saw friends.
We spent time at home, pottering, and in our PJs watching films.
We got out of the house, wrapped up and did something new.
We were together.
It was relaxing and easy.
It was Fun.
It was just what we needed.
What I needed.
To remember me.
To give myself a moment to pull the parts of me that often feel stretched to the limit back together.
To reinvigorate, refresh and unwind.
Ready for the next battle we face.
It’s important to me that the kiddies lives are disrupted as little as possible where ever possible, that cancer does not consume us so it stops us all of the time.
So the adjustments made and needed are slight so they can behave as children should.
Our normal has now changed but we’re going to make sure we enjoy hours, days, weeks and however long we get that feels like old school normal.
We made the most of the good week and we will continue to do so when they come around.
They add to our armour, our purpose.
We will live them wholly.
So we have the energy, a reason to fight.
We had a great week of calm and of life.
We embraced happy.
Now we are ready to reboard the rollercoaster.