I’m aware that we’re still very early on in Chris’ treatment plan.

Although already it feels like we’ve lived this for far too long.

My wonderful kiddies are doing ok.

So far.

We make effort to keep things normal, ticking over and they take everything in their stride.

There are signs, particularly in the weeks Chris is in Christies having treatment, that show they are affected.

Sam, who doesn’t understand, asks constantly where ‘Daddy’ is. When I tell him he’s in hospital he simply says ‘No’ (yes, we have reached the no stage of toddlerdome.) Since Chris has come home, he’s attached himself to him. Giving him cuddles and wanting to just sit with him.

This last week Lily was much more teary than usual.

We had an incident of tears and her wanting to see daddy ‘With my own eyes’ after I had shouted. We are very similar, we were both very tired and I should really learn to count to 10.

Chris normally diffuses these situations (what do you mean we don’t all argue with our 7 year olds?!) After cuddles and a chat we were friends again.

Thursday she wanted to stay at her Grans with her cousins. A couple of hours later she rang very upset ’cause she was missing me. She was home in her own bed by 9.

Chemo weeks are hard on all of us, early mornings and later nights with rushing around in between. She’s so good ’cause she helps with Sam and will do things first time (apart from the time I shouted) It makes me very proud of her.

It became evident quite early on Friday that Chris wouldn’t be coming home as usual. I knew she would not be happy so I decided to take her to see him. She was apprehensive but the excitement of seeing him and the promise of McDonalds for tea outweighed any worry.

It helped them both.

Now he’s home, and a sense of getting back to normal descends.

They love him being home.

I wanted to share this with you, something Lily wrote last night:

If you know my dad has bone cancer in his leg but I am so glad that he goes to this really good Hospital called Christies Hospital it is really good because it safes people lives if they are really ill and if they have a serious business. His name is Chris Cowley he has two kids they are called Lily and Sam and a wife Becky. you don’t want Lily and Sam because they are very enoing (annoying) don’t ask why because I will tell you why. My dad said your not annoying he loves us to bits.

It’s important to acknowledge that it is hard for them too and that they are affected when Chris is away from them, to not dismiss their emotions or belittle how they express how they are feeling. To listen to what they have to say and to answer any questions honestly.

They miss him when he’s not at home, of course they do.

For now they’re both doing really well.