Dealing with Cancer in the Family

There’s no such thing as karma

I no longer believe there’s any such thing as karma.

It simply doesn’t exist.

I also no longer believe that good things happen to good people.

There I’ve said it.

They don’t.

Bad shit happens to good people, the best people all of the time.

It’s always the good that leave this world to soon.

It’s always awful crap happening to good people.

It’s always to people who have dealt with enough already.

It’s always to people who really don’t deserve it.

Is there anyone that really deserves it?

Ok don’t answer that.

I don’t profess to be perfect. Is anybody really? I am far from it. I love a bit of gossip and controversy, I’ll have a good bitch about people if they’ve done or said something that’s irritated me (I sometimes feel bad about it) and will ‘ooo’ and ‘ahh’ over the garden fence (if they weren’t 6 foot tall and I spoke to my neighbours) nattering with the best of them.

I, we, try to be good people.

He is a good person, even when he’s really annoying!

We are good people dammit!

If I’m honest I think most people are inherently good.

Maybe being a good person isn’t even about the things you do. Maybe it’s about how you face things, whether you have empathy to your fellow humans, whether you can forgive or accept when you’ve been in the wrong (see not perfect) and whether people leave your company feeling uplifted, good about themselves, have enjoyed spending time with you.

We morbidly joke, Chris and I, we must have done something pretty horrific in a past life and now we are continuously trying to make up for.

In moments of doubt and in spite of the overwhelming support we receive, I wonder if people call it karma.

I wonder what he did to deserve this.

What we did.

That’s how karma works isn’t it? If it existed.

I wonder, if it’s true that good things happen to good people then why does it seem that for the past 2 nearly 3 years (and beyond) only life altering shitty things keep happening to us.

But really, I know it’s just bad luck.

I can’t start thinking like that because then bitterness and nastiness sets in.

‘Cause if not us, then who? I wouldn’t wish any of this on anyone, even if I wish I wasn’t living it.

That’s how I know, there’s no such thing as karma

And although I may no longer believe that just because you’re a good person it means that good things will happen, it won’t stop me trying.

It’s not going to change how I behave or treat people.

If we all try surely the world will be a better place (very miss world of me)

Positivity brings the light and happiness. If we keep going then maybe getting through the shittiness will be made a little easier and not so dark.

By being good people we have an army of family, friends and kind strangers supporting us and thinking of us, for which I will always be thankful.

Because I would hate to go through this alone.

5 thoughts on “There’s no such thing as karma

  1. Sending huge hugs. I agree – it does always seem to be the good people who are dealt the worst hands. I am crossing everything that 2016 is the end of your run of bad luck, and that 2017 is the best year yet for your family xx

  2. You’re right. I don’t think there is such a thing as karma. You definitely don’t deserve what’s happening. I wish there was a way to just whisk it all away. Sending love xx

  3. I’m so sorry you are having such an awful time. I can’t say I’ve ever believed in karma – I certainly don’t don’t understand why such things happen to good people. I think about you & your husband most days & really hope you get some good news soon. Much love x

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