I’ve been building it

For as long as I can now remember.

Going through life creating it without acknowledging it was happening.

My Village.

I have always known it was there, present

Purposeful

Needed.

I know that I am lucky

Lucky to have my life so enriched

Lucky to have been drawn to them and them to me.

More recently I have been thinking a lot about them

About who they are, what they mean to me

My village.

People have asked how I do it

How I get up and carry on

How I keep smiling

How I stay strong.

I really have no choice.

Some days are not as easy as others

I know days in the future will be even harder

But when I wake

My first thought is not that of dread or heartbreak

There is no new realisation of our now normal

No sudden remembering

I do not forget in dream

What my reality is.

I’ve realised, it’s thanks to them, you

These people who surround me

Who quietly comfort me in darkness

Showing me the way

To stand with me in the light

That this feeling, this outlook is possible.

I no longer believe everything happens for a reason

There is no good reason that Chris is going through this

That my kids are going through this

There will be nothing gained

But I still believe people happen for a reason

That the people I have around me are meant to be.

Our paths have crossed, are thrown together, run alongside each other, have stuck, for a reason

Even those who passed by taught lessons, gave memories, helped me move forward

Helped me understand who I am, what I should tolerate

So I could truly understand what a friend should be.

Their energy didn’t lift me like the others that remain

They’re not bad, they just aren’t good for me

For this space, this life, this time.

My village, my life now

Is filled with those that are amazing to me

Some have been around longer than others

They have seen me make mistakes, they have watched me grow

Our lives now so entwined separation is impossible

Friends turned to family.

Some are fairly new to my life

Though they feel like they’ve always been a part of it

No less important.

Some I’ve met once or twice, or not at all

Who reach out to me through messages or texts, their words meaningful, sincere.

All hold my hand physically and virtually

All walk with me through the downpours

They’re there for me when I need it most

My Village

I hope they realise how important they are to me

How glad I am to have them in my life

How loved they are

Without them days would be unbearable

They make me feel normal in an incomprehensible situation

With them I know I can face anything

They give me reasons to keep smiling

And the strength I need to carry on

Without them I would be lost

I can carry on

Thanks to them