Right now I’m dealing with to many Ifs and Buts.
I’ve also realised whilst digesting information I say ok, A lot.
On Tuesday we met with the baby surgeons at St Marys. We were taken into the counselling room at the FMU, the room with the tissues. I was really hoping to avoid the room altogether, the thought of it makes me feel nervous and teary!
So far I have remained rather positive about everything that has gone on. I really, really don’t think there’ll be anything wrong with this baby. I have a real deep, gut, mummy instinct feeling that he’s going to be fine and this will all be a massive misunderstanding, 2 things that just happened to show and not show themselves on the same day. Of course they can’t agree that everything is fine on my say alone, so we were talked through everything that could happen, a worse case scenario if you will.
Baby will be tested for a blockage virtually straight away. We will get a cuddle 1st, IF baby is well enough BUT he could need to be whisked off straight away. They do know how important 1st cuddles are so will always aim for that first.
The test basically a tube down his nose to see if the oesphagus is connected to the stomach. They’ll also do some xrays and give the little one a full MOT, check organs and chromosomes and everything in between to make sure there’s no underlying issues.
IF there is a blockage and there is gas in the stomach, it could be that there is a connection to the windpipe. BUT if there isn’t any gas, it could be that there is just a gap between the oesphagus and the stomach.
IF this is the case and IF baby is stable then they will operate on the little one when he is about 2 days old. BUT they will treat anything that is life threatening 1st. IF baby isn’t stable on day 2 then baby will be fed through a tube into his tummy.
IF there is a gap they are hoping it’s only a small one so they can connect it back together. BUT, IF the gap is large then it could be that they would need to stretch it, they would try to use babys own oesphagus as in the long run that’s best. BUT if it is stretched it could be that there will be leaks. IF there are leaks they will fix as and when.
IF the gap is too large then it could be they’ll leave it a little while and then decide what to do.
IF they do have to operate and it’s straight forward and baby is stable then he may have to be in for up to 6 weeks. BUT, IF it’s more complicated it could be up to 6 months.
They don’t expect us to stay BUT, IF we did want too they could put us up in family accommodation but couldn’t do that until the baby was born and they had diagnosed.
IF there isn’t a blockage then baby would only be in a couple of days.
Erm, well no we didn’t have any really, she’s going to write everything up and send it to us ’cause she know’s it’s a lot to take in.
No shit sherlock!
We then went to look around the NICU (newborn intensive care unit) as baby will go there for the tests and IF surgery is needed that’s where he’ll recover.
IF baby does need to be in the NICU I won’t need anything. They’ll provide nappies, wipes, bottles, milk and even clothes. BUT I will need this stuff IF he’s ok.
Not the easiest to plan for. Think I’ll pack for best case scenario.
I’ve been to the NICU before, my friends special little girl spent 23 days there after have surgery hours after being born, so I know how bloody good it is!
Just didn’t really expect to be thinking about being back in it!
And even after everything that was explained I really don’t think we’ll be back there. I understand what they’re telling me, I’m listening and taking it all in, they did say that these diagnoses aren’t usually wrong BUT could be.
Mr C says I should at least start to think about what might happen just in case but I just can’t get past the fact that I think he’ll be fine.
I mean, there really is no point worrying just yet. There’s not a lot I can do about it at the moment and worrying will only send my blood pressure through the roof.
The best thing for me to do is to keep baking him nicely.
Happy, positive thoughts for me and him.
I’ll let Mr C do the panicking for now.