It’s Not Just Hair

Everyday on this journey, since cancer has entered our lives, I’m learning.

Learning how to cope, how to juggle, how to adapt.

Learning about the side affects of the drug that is trying to save the person I love.

Learning that I’ve been wrong.

I always felt empathy with cancer patients whose hair fell out.

That is was such a shame, a knock of confidence for women, something men could just get on with.

In the grand scheme of things really this was the last thing that people should worry about, when there is so much more going on.

I mean there are lots of bald men around and there are some fantastic wigs now so you would hardly notice if someone’s hair had fallen out.

It was a side effect that people could just get on with. With little emotional attachment ’cause it’ll grow back.

I was wrong.

It’s not just hair.

It’s a visualisation of the disease that is trying to kill him.

Of the poison that is pushed through the body to try to save him.

A reminder of the lack of control he has over his body.

It’s waking up to find more hair on his pillow, or drying his hair after a shower and more falling out and there’s nothing he can do about it.

It doesn’t just go at once. It mocks by leaving patches and it hurts as it goes.

It’s surprising and shocking.

Even when you’re expecting it.

Even when the person didn’t think they would be bothered if their hair was there or not.

Even when it’s something you’ll get used to and eventually it will just become another new normal.

It’s the effects of treatment showing for the world to see.

It’s strangers seeing cancer before they see the person fighting.

It’s a constant reminder of the battle ahead, even on days he’s feeling well.

It’s another thing I am unable to help with, unable to ease.

Unable to find the words to comfort.

I was wrong.

It’s not just hair.

It’s much more than that.

To all those who have suffered, who are suffering or who will suffer,

I’m sorry for ever thinking it.

‘Cause now I know.

It’s not just hair.





Posted by

30 something, married, mummy of one. Getting by on chocolate and laughter.

5 thoughts on “It’s Not Just Hair

  1. I’m sorry to hear about your husband’s diagnosis. I work with cancer patients and it’s so hard to comfort and reassure people about hair loss. like you say it’s a constant reminder. I really do hope the treatment goes well x

  2. This post will stick with me you can be sure of that. I hope your husband is doing ok Becky massive hugs

  3. I feel like you’ve taught me something after reading that.
    I hope your husbands treatment goes well x

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