Until you are faced with the unimaginable you can’t comprehend ever having to deal with it.
You hear, watch and read about awful, heartbreaking things happening to other people, other families, other people’s children. Illness, accidents, loss.
If you’re like me, your heart hurts just thinking about it.
Although you don’t fully understand what they’re going through, you look at your own life and wonder how they carry on, how they get up in the morning, how they still smile when they are going through so much.
You thank your lucky stars that it’s not you and although you empathise you’re glad it’s not.
I used to think like that.
I still do.
I didn’t think I could have coped.
I read the blogs of some amazing women who have been through so much devastation.
I wonder how they, how people go on living when the unthinkable happens.
I read blogs of people who struggle each day with depression or anxiety or chronic illness.
I wonder where they find the strength from to get up each morning.
I wonder how they cope.
People have said to me a lot this year.
I would never have been able to cope like you have.
And I get it.
I get why they say it.
They say it ‘cause their heart hurts when they think about awful things.
Because mine still does for other people.
Despite this, despite me getting why they say it, it’s the most baffling thing to me.
I didn’t choose to cope, I just do.
I don’t think I have a special way of getting on with things.
I’ve just got to, get on with things.
I am positive but I don’t think I am any more positive than anyone else.
I honestly don’t think, and I have said this to many people, that I, we, have reacted any differently to someone else who have found or will find themselves in a situation like ours.
The world doesn’t stop because something awful happens.
There are still nights that turn to days
Days that turn to weeks.
Weeks that turn to months.
There are still kids to entertain, work to be done, lives to lead.
There is still happiness, there is still laughter, there are still good times.
What’s the alternative?
What’s the alternative to not getting on with things?
Not being left with a life worth fighting for.
Letting the darkness win.
Life doesn’t stop because cancer enters your life, or anything else happens.
We are not brave.
Chris is the most determined person I know but apart from that we are not extraordinary.
We are no different to anybody else.
When the shit hits the fan a strength is unlocked that drags you from one day to the next.
I wouldn’t wish this year on anybody else.
But if the worst did happen,
You would cope in exactly the same way we have.
Because the alternative is really the unthinkable thing.