Dealing with Cancer in the Family

You’ve just got to get on with it

Until you are faced with the unimaginable you can’t comprehend ever having to deal with it.

You hear, watch and read about awful, heartbreaking things happening to other people, other families, other people’s children. Illness, accidents, loss.

If you’re like me, your heart hurts just thinking about it.

Although you don’t fully understand what they’re going through, you look at your own life and wonder how they carry on, how they get up in the morning, how they still smile when they are going through so much.

You thank your lucky stars that it’s not you and although you empathise you’re glad it’s not.

I used to think like that.

I still do.

I didn’t think I could have coped.

I read the blogs of some amazing women who have been through so much devastation.

I wonder how they, how people go on living when the unthinkable happens.

I read blogs of people who struggle each day with depression or anxiety or chronic illness.

I wonder where they find the strength from to get up each morning.

I wonder how they cope.

People have said to me a lot this year.

I would never have been able to cope like you have.

And I get it.

I get why they say it.

They say it ‘cause their heart hurts when they think about awful things.

Because mine still does for other people.

Despite this, despite me getting why they say it, it’s the most baffling thing to me.

I didn’t choose to cope, I just do.

I don’t think I have a special way of getting on with things.

I’ve just got to, get on with things.

I am positive but I don’t think I am any more positive than anyone else.

I honestly don’t think, and I have said this to many people, that I, we, have reacted any differently to someone else who have found or will find themselves in a situation like ours.

The world doesn’t stop because something awful happens.

There are still nights that turn to days

Days that turn to weeks.

Weeks that turn to months.

There are still kids to entertain, work to be done, lives to lead.

There is still happiness, there is still laughter, there are still good times.

What’s the alternative?

What’s the alternative to not getting on with things?

Not being left with a life worth fighting for.

Letting the darkness win.

Life doesn’t stop because cancer enters your life, or anything else happens.

We are not brave.

Chris is the most determined person I know but apart from that we are not extraordinary.

We are no different to anybody else.

When the shit hits the fan a strength is unlocked that drags you from one day to the next.

I wouldn’t wish this year on anybody else.

But if the worst did happen,

You would cope in exactly the same way we have.

Because the alternative is really the unthinkable thing.

11 thoughts on “You’ve just got to get on with it

  1. You are strong, and happy, and I’m sure you always were. Just a lovely person all round, and a lovely family. Not a lot I can say without having been through the same experience, but to let you know that I think you are extraordinary even if you don’t think so – not everyone would have managed in the same way, others may have crumbled on the outside as well as inside. Can only guess that you’ve had some of those moments maybe, but overall your positivity has shone through xx

  2. Beautifully said Becky, each of us has the strength if we dig deep enough to get through tough unimaginable times. I love that you share the lows as well as the positivity because that’s what helps people reading about the reality and hearing there are good days as well as rotten it makes people feel less alone in their struggles x

  3. Gosh Becky, you’ve written this so beautifully. You both are still heroes to me, and you’ve shown so many people that there is hope and that will help so many. I’ve been watching those stand up to cancer videos and I hadn’t realised how much all the treatment can wear people down. I hope they find better cures quickly x

  4. Amazing words as always! You’re so right. In my experience (of bereavement, not cancer) you just have to keep going. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other. Sometimes it’s painful, sometimes it’s not. Some days are good, some aren’t. You and Chris have dealt with everything that’s been thrown at you head on. To share your journey so publicly is amazing. Other people will draw strength from your videos and blog posts. You ARE amazing though – despite what you think!! xx

  5. Becky I’ve watched your ‘journey’ unfold from a distance and I’ve been amazed by your ability to seemingly remain positive and chipper. I know that behind closed doors you’ve probably had dark moments or even days but the way you have coped has been an absolutely inspiration. You are amazing and so is your man – keep on keeping on. x x PS ‘One day at a time’ has been my mantra this year. It’s been a life saver.

  6. I completely get what you mean – you do just have to keep on going. BUT I don’t think a lot of people could do it with the strength, dignity and spirit you both have. Whether you believe it or not you are both incredible people xxx

  7. My friend who was awaiting a transplant used to say she wasn’t brave. She just had to kee on going. I totally get this. You do have strength though, and you are right you have to find a way to cope with whatever is thrown at you both. Xx

  8. You are so right, You do have to get on with it but not many seem to do so with the elegance and zest for life that you and your family have appeared to. I suspect you hate hearing it, but you have been such an inspiration to those you have touched this year. Really hoping next year is so much better for you all (and that I get to see you soon) x

  9. Fantastically written Becky, I think I would put myself in the same boat, wondering how people cope when ‘that’ something comes along but you are so right, the world doesn’t stop turning. That said, I think anyone who can face the hardest journey with a smile is a brave and special person x

Comments make me Happy! Like cake does but with less calories

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s