I need to learn to love the bump.

I don’t mean what’s inside the bump, I mean the ever-growing bump itself.

Last time, seven years ago, I was much slimmer, having lost 3 stone prior to getting pregnant. This time, age, my love of food and my dislike of exercise have taken their toll!

Back then I was proud to show off my bump. I couldn’t wait to start showing the world. I was proud of my body and what it was doing, I wore clothes that covered but showed it off in all its glory, and believe me towards the end it was gloriously huge!

Now as a more curvaceous woman, who is ‘lucky’ enough to carry quite a lot of my weight on my stomach normally, making me look pregnant if not stood up straight, I have done my best to hide my tummy for the last few years, embarrassed about my shape.

That’s where I’m stuck, still in the mindset that I look overweight rather than up the duff. Rather than rejoicing in my ever expanding waistline I’m still trying to hide it, which is becoming much more difficult and to be honest I’m not doing a very good job of it. I’m now quite clearly pregnant, it’s bump shaped but still I find myself worrying that I just look larger than average! I find myself sucking in, an impossible task that I’m doing subconsciously, it just makes my insides feel squashed, all of a sudden I’ll relax and feel much better, less windy.

Instead of looking for clothes that will flatter my lovely bump, I’ve been trying to find clothes that camouflage it! I bought a dress I thought would do the trick but I just looking liked I was wearing a blue flowery bed sheet with a head and arm holes cut out! Not very flattering at all. I have  even found myself saying, I’m only 20 weeks I know I look massive, like I have a bloody choice in the matter and why on earth do I feel the need to apologise?

Maybe I just feel like the bump is too big for my weeks and that I’m somehow deceiving people into thinking I’m further along. Maybe I want to hide it to avoid an embarrassing question about how long I have to go or whether there’s really 2 in there! Really folks, no matter how big the bump do not ask a pregnant woman this question, it’s not amusing and it won’t be appreciated, I was asked this a lot first time round, maybe that has something to do with it!

I want to be proud of what my body is doing, proud of the fact that I am lucky enough to be growing a tiny human.

I need to find the confidence to dress the bump not hide it.

I need to learn to love the bump.