Only for Me

You know that song? The Semisonic one that goes: Nobody knows it but you’ve got a secret smile and you use it only for me.’

That’s how I feel at the moment.

Not about a smile though. There is no one secretly smiling at me from a distance or anything like that but about the baby.

I’ve been waiting for so long to feel him moving around, for the flutters to become actual movements. Now they have.

I think this is helping me stay calm with everything else that’s going on. He’s moving. He’s finding his arms and legs and is using and moving them around.

I’m worrying less.

He’s letting me know he’s ok.

He’s saving all his movements for me.

He moves around a lot, especially when I’m sat down. He’s probably trying to get me to shift so I’m not squashing him and giving him enough space. I can feel him wriggling often during the day. Making me smile whilst I’m sat at my desk at work.

In the evening when I’m snuggled on the sofa, relaxed, and he’s got more room to stretch he’s really awake. I can feel his movements when I put my hand on my bump. I love it. Knowing he’s getting stronger and making my hand move.

Mr C has felt him once, a little kick he gave saying hello. The munchkin has tried, she’s desperate to feel her brother, she talks to him and cuddles into the bump waiting, he’ll definitely know his sisters voice. But nothing, he stops. Then as soon as the coast is clear, when it’s just me and him, he’s back to wriggling.

I want them to feel him too.

But for now I’m happy it’s our little secret. It’s like the early weeks, knowing I was pregnant and the whole world going about its normal business with no idea, whilst we knew something amazing was happening that we weren’t ready to share with the world.

A bond all ready forming between the 2 of us with our little secret. I know when he’s ready he’ll share his movements, he knows I need to feel them more, so I can control they worry.

He’s saving all his movements for me.





Posted by

30 something, married, mummy of one. Getting by on chocolate and laughter.

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